I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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