i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
