Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
