Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
