It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
