is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
