ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
