if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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