Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
that is very illegal...i love you.
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