Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
