I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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