Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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