oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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