I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
