We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
