I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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