so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
As shirtless as possible
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
