whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
