There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
