I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
two words: eviction party
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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