I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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