I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
