he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
