i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
