ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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