I'm jealous of your bromance
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
