Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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