is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
