Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize