New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i now understand why vodka
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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