Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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