White coat. Heels.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
