Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
