I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
