from now on my penis is your penis
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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