Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
