Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
