I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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