Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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