So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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