I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just found a bag of teeth...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
