I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
