I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
