I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
