I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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