i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
