just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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