end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
