the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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