I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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