Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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