the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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