What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
