I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
