PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
