I hope mine doesn't look like that
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
