Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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