1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize