I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
