and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
