it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
