i don't like sucking hair
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize