Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize